Chris's Friend's Idea For a Movie Intro

This is my rendition of Chris telling his friend's idea for an intro to a movie. I tend to forget a lot of the details, but I heard Chris tell it last night, so I remember at least two more than I had two days ago.

This guy is flying in a subsonic jet. He's a brusque man, the kind of guy you'd feel honored to get your ass kicked by because he doesn't just obliterate anybody. He looks out at the sky, then the ground, before remarking, in a husky tone, "So small, so blue." With that, he throws himself out of the hatch.

He's sky surfing down. He's not really flashy about it, more just straight up shredding. He's got the whole pose down, and despite the wind rushing against his face, he doesn't break his scowl.

As he gets lower, he notices that he's jumping right into the middle of about a thousand army guys dressed in black and armed with machine guns. Apparently they want to kill him.

Once he gets into range, he starts into a slow, controlled spin. He pulls out his own machine guns from his backpack or whatever people carry guns in, and holds the triggers down, spraying out 360 degrees of death wish. By the time he gets close to landing, it's clear that most of these guys are dying. He slowly glides in on his parachute, killing off the last of them. He lands on a motorcycle, takes a shot of Jack and a bong hit.

There's this very attractive and promiscuous young lady on the back of the bike. After he exhales his bong hit, he turns around and makes out with her for a little while. When he's done, she says, "Take me with you!"

The guy says, "no."